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Blame + Surrender in Relationships part 3

March 2, 2017
Blame + Surrender in Relationship now

How do you stand in this now moment when someone (probably someone you love and care about) is yelling at you because of their story, not yours?


When their story says, “you make my life unbearable because I feel inferior” what do you do with that as a now experience?

How do you know this is your conversation with the cosmos and not a relationship issue that needs to be addressed?

This is the way of the Heart Alchemist, the person who does not play by different rules in different situations but stands in this one explanation of what’s happening and sticks to it.

A Heart Alchemist does not prescribe or presume to speak to other people’s conversation with the cosmos. A Heart Alchemist is always doing what they are told through the intuitive-logic of simply being present to each moment as an equal and essential aspect of All That Is.

And every situation is unique.


There is no prescription for ‘when people are yelling at you’ the same way that there is no formula for happiness – because in this moment we are simply being present.


Present to what, exactly?

Present to our experience of life as an equal and essential aspect of the Divine.

How? How do I operate outside of the ‘she is doing this to me’ perspective in order to be all mystical about someone who could easily be mistaken for a maniac!?

Easy. When I truly believe and trust that this moment is my conversation, then I will process intuitively until I settle upon an explanation that does not make anyone right, wrong or incomplete.

I do not try to explain another person’s yelling or the causes.

I am present to what I am being asked to do in this scenario, in my conversation. Am I asked to embrace her? Am I asked to tell her how I see this situation? Am I asked to walk away? Am I asked to listen without prejudice?

Whatever I am asked to do, it is the same intuitive-logic that pulls me in every other moment.


And it is the same process for all situations

  • Allow – feel whatever you feel without a story to justify or couch the sensations,
  • Acknowledge – make the story visible if one comes into frame,
  • Appreciate – recognise the wisdom of life playing out in this way right now as purposeful,
  • Choose – make a decision about how to proceed in the now, and
  • Allow – be receptive to the next moment as part your conversation.


These simple choices manifest in many different styles. So different in fact, that you would not recognise someone is living by them at all. People who live life as a conversation can be loud, emotional, uncouth, unemployed, greedy, unfeeling and any number of labels human politeness might accuse them of.


Living wisdom is the experience of surrender

It does not make life look a particular way.

It simply gives YOU a sense of what’s going on from a place of surrender, intuitive-logic and responsibility – a place where you feel certain that this is not about anyone being right, wrong or incomplete so you never see life in opposition or challenged or trapped or victimised or victorious or unloved or misinterpreted or unappreciated or unfairly treated or pushed or ripped off or deceived or used.


You trust there is only your conversation.

The choices you make are not based on what other people might do or not do. Your choices are based on what this moment is asking you to pay attention to, what this situation is inviting you to be present to.

Your choices are not based on what other people deserve or need. Your choices are based on the trust that intuitive-logic knows more than human politeness about what to do in any and every situation life has to offer.


. . .


Melanie Brockwell

I work with human trauma. My passion is caring for (and adding to) our animal rescue family.

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