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Blame + Surrender in Relationships part 4

March 2, 2017
blame + Surrender in Relationship politeness

Human politeness is limited because it tells you a story from your cultural bias.

It says “being friendly is good but feeling angry is bad” so you pretend to be someone you’re not and live in a constant state of blame, shame and control. Whereas, intuitive-logic has access to all the information your human politeness does not, and it pulls you to do-say-feel what is equal and essential for you to do-say-feel on purpose in all moments, no matter what it looks like.

Let’s get back to the nitty gritty of how to stand in this moment when someone (probably someone you love and care about) is yelling at you because of their story, not yours?

Politeness or Presence

be presentNo matter what it appears to be, you are only ever required to be present as yourself. This is rather confusing in an age where being yourself is meant to look like lifestyles of the rich and famous.

A simpler way to be effortless is to know yourself with unconditional love. If you had to accept all of the aspects, characteristics and values that make you you, how could you give them all a room in your house and a job that they loved?

allowIf you feel compassion for their pain, feel it.

When you get angry, embody it.

Even if you want to move but you feel frozen, be with that. Be with that for what it is without having to change it or ease it’s suffering.

You are not surrendering to a better place, you’re simply surrendering.

surrenderYour surrender is to this moment as it is because you trust that it is sacred. Because you trust that whatever your purpose in this moment, it will be carried out. And because your one obligation is to be you. You trust that the only difference that can be made is your version of the experience.

Therefore, I can do one of two things:

1. Surrender and focus on being present, or

2. I can try and figure out who’s right and who’s wrong. Try and figure out how I can bring balance back into the situation because I don’t trust that the Divine is all things and I certainly don’t trust that all things are already in perfect balance.


The choice is yours…

Melanie Brockwell

I work with human trauma. My passion is caring for (and adding to) our animal rescue family.

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